What is Your "One Word"? ~ Boudoir Client Guest Post

Lumpy.

If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would it be? 

A muffin top here, a love handle there. Let’s throw in a touch of backfat, and a dash of cellulite to create the perfect cocktail of self-loathing. 

We live in a world where every image we see has been altered in some way. Lips are injected, bodies are photoshopped. We are constantly bombarded with unrealistic images of the female body should look like, and we try to aspire to this as “#goals”. 

It’s no wonder that when I look in the mirror, I feel lumpy. 

I had spent months training for my first marathon, and my husband had been so supportive. It just so happened that the actual event landed only days after his birthday, and his birthday was getting pushed into the shadows. I decided that I wanted to do something nice for him, something a little extra special. I was in literally the best shape of my life (but still “lumpy”) so I figured, why the heck not. 

In theory, the boudoir shoot seemed like a great idea. It would help boost my own self-confidence, and it would also give my husband a little special somethin’-somethin’. Of course, picking the outfits was an entirely different story.

Let’s try this little number – wait no, it draws attention my love handles. Okay… what about this piece? No, you fool! It shows off your cookie pouch! Just suck in your gut a little more, stand in a weird angle, that’s what all the models do on Instagram anyway, right? Why don’t I have that perfect hourglass shape? I did not think this through! This is stressful, I need a cookie.

Okay. Outfits are picked, hair and makeup are done, it’s time to head over! (Seriously though, why did I think this was a good idea? I am PAYING somebody to photograph all the things I hate about my body? I am such a fool!) 

Now, I know Brittney. I’ve known her for quite some time and have done countless runs with her. However, putting on “sexy” clothes and parading around in front of her in heels was a little more difficult that I had anticipated. (I really could have used a drink, or three!) And how the heck am I supposed to pose and not feel like a complete moron?

“Put your hand over there.” “Lean back.” “Stare off into the distance.” “Yes! Do that, that’s perfect!” Brittney was a pro! (As if there was ever any doubt.) The nervous of the silly poses vanished, and I felt a little more relaxed. She had a vision and an idea, and all I had to do was follow directions. I could do that! 

Suddenly, I was no longer concerned with lumps. I felt BEAUTIFUL! My body felt strong. My confidence soared. 

She showed a couple snaps on her camera throughout the session, and I was blown away. Why was I so worried? I looked like a BABE! There were no lumps, no love handles. I didn’t have backfat erupting from the back of my thong, or cellulite on my thighs that looked like cottage cheese. I looked like a strong, sexy, confident women. (Wow. Was that really me, or did something replace me in the images?)

The rest of the session felt like a breeze. The nerves were gone, the fear was gone. It was replaced with smiles and excitement. (Wow. This was probably one of my best ideas I’ve had in a long time! Maybe this is a present for me, and not my husband.)

Lumpy. Let’s remove that word from our vocabulary. 

If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would it be?

I would say that I could not just pick one. My body is beautiful, strong, and confident. It’s easy to forget how beautiful we are and focus just on what society tells us is the “perfect” image. We are all human, we are all beautiful, and we are all strong. So put down the social media, block the images of the photoshopped images, the gym images of those who have personal trainers and personal chefs – girl, you are better than that. 

You deserve to know how beautiful you are, always.